u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
two words...techno handjob
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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