The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
