Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
