Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
