dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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