i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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