These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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