now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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