i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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