dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
