hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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