I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
