dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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