there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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