she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
