He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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