Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
