She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
