discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
