so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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