I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
