So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
