You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
