Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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