Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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