She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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