I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
