Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
