her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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