I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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