I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This is my gift to your gina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
