Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
