I can tuck mytits in my pants
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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