Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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