Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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