im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
