i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Acid is not a monday night drug
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize