drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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