where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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