Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
