Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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