People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
