I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
