Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
