You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
