Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
