All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
