break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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