Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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