White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
